Nearly ready…

For over four years a film concept has been brewing, fermenting and growing in my mind. It no longer resembles the story I began with - and that's good. Actually, it's beyond good. As any good writer does, I listened to the voices in my head. They tore apart what I had, selected the portions they liked, then built something more wonderful.

This will be an AIDS film unlike anything before. It takes place between 1985 and 1987, when testing positive was still seen as certain death and the only hope - AZT - was financially out of reach of most people affected by AIDS. I, personally, was infected with HIV on September 13, 1986 and tested positive in March 1987.

Many of the characters in my film have a basis in real people.

"Richard" and "Keith" - the two main characters - are named for my first partner, Richard Keith Harris. I contracted HIV from him, though neither of us was aware of his status at the time. Keith passed from AIDS in February 1990. Other than the names, neither has much else in common with the man they are named for.

"Silver Flame"/"Robert" was a drag queen I'd become friends with. He died of AIDS around 1990. I've given more life to Silver than I knew of her namesake. The real Silver lip-synced. My version will sing for herself.

"Gregory" and his sister "Cynthia" is a nod to Cyndi Lauper's song "True Colors" and the reason Cyndi sings that song. Her good friend Gregory died of AIDS in the earliest days of the epidemic. Some things can't be changed, but one important thing will. A song will finally be sung to the one it was chosen for.

Shaun is in memory of my close, dear friend Shane, who passed from AIDS. Shaun's last words to Keith are the same as Shane's to me.

"Michael See" is in honor of Michael Callen, one of the first AIDS activists, a singer/songwriter, and more. With luck I can get the rights to have one of his songs performed in my film.

There are eighteen songs, all of which I can see in my mind. The minutest details of each scene plays out, from camera angles to timing of the song. Most songs are re-imagined and/or mash-ups to make them unique and to fit the film. There are a few that will be written specifically for the film.

All the music but one will be sung a cappella. Only the music for the opening credits will have instruments. The score to set the mood for the scenes will also be a cappella.

I hear it all in my head, and see each scene as it would play out. Every camera angle, every note, every laugh and every tear are all there. If I could only sell tickets to see what I see, it would make it much easier.

To be honest, I realized that my dilemma is the same as Keith's in the film. What he sees is beyond description, and the enormity of it all freezes his tongue when he tries to figure out where to begin. It's good that I can empathize with my character, even if it doesn't help me to write things out.

But, it's almost time to try.