A Face of AIDS

Since leaving a bad relationship in 2000, I've been wanting to do more to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS. My long-term partner had practically silenced me for thirteen long years, so I had a lot of catching up to do. He also pushed me back in the closet as a gay man; to our friends and coworkers, we were nothing more than 'roommates.'

I'm glad that is over. Never make the mistake I did by letting somebody tell you they love you while smothering your passions.

In August 2000, I founded the GLBT Professional Network at Texas A&M University. Most of the queers in the Bryan/College Station and Texas A&M community thought it was futile. I wasn't willing to accept defeat before at least trying.

I managed to get almost immediate approval from then Dean of Faculties Janis Stout. She wasn't sure how to get the organization recognized officially, but told us to act as if we were. Anybody complained could talk to her. Of course, I knew Janis when she was a Professor in the English Department where I worked as computer IT support, so knew I could talk with her as a friend.

On March 12, 2001 we received official recognition as a Texas A&M faculty & staff organization from then-President Ray Bowen. A new milestone had been reached for the gay community, and this time without taking ten years in court.

It had already been decided by the group that, as founder, I would serve as first President, a role I knew I was not yet ready for. In May I was elected in that same role for another year. I know I made mistakes, but the transition had begun. I did my best to lead the organization in recruitment of members through social events and what we dubbed "hot topics".

In June 2002 I spoke to members of the GLBT Professional Network as well as anybody from A&M and the community that were interested about my life. It was titled "A Decade and a Half: Living with HIV/AIDS". I had made note cards with the exact words I wanted to say printed on them. I read them in a stilted, nervous manner. Rarely did my eyes leave the cards. Obviously, I was not ready to speak in public, but by forcing myself, was on the right path.

I was later invited to speak to a sorority group about the same topic. I was becoming known. As the only "out" positive person on campus, people wanted to hear what I had to say.

As I was planning my departure from B/CS, I attended a screening of the AIDS documentary film "A Closer Walk" at A&M. There were not that many in attendance, but more than I expected there to be. At the end, the moderator took questions from the audience. I sat and listened, wanting to see if there were any ignorant or tasteless ones. To my amazement and pleasure, there were none, but nothing hard-hitting, either. All the questions were asked by people who remained seated.

I decided it was time for me to say something. When I was called upon, I stood. With a load, clear voice I said, "I stand because somebody has to, and I suppose that somebody is me, because I have AIDS." I felt every set of eyes fixated on me, and every ear turned to listen. I talked about how important it was to be heard and seen, how we who are living with this can look no different from anybody else. The entire audience listened, and applauded when I was done.

At the end, a young woman approached me. "That was very brave of you." she told me. I looked at her and replied, "Was it bravery, or necessity? Because I believe it's more the latter than the former." She nodded in silent agreement and took that thought with her.

In 2006 I was invited to participate as a panelist for a World AIDS Day symposium at Texas A&M. I was also interviewed by the Bryan television station KBTX earlier that day. While it was mangled a bit by the reporter, taking some parts out of context, my grandmother approved. That alone meant the world to me.

The next year I did a phone interview for the Bryan Eagle, the paper back in B/CS. Mind you, I'd been in Austin since late March 2004, and was in Italy the first half of the month. Yet I was still being asked to be a voice and a face for HIV/AIDS in the Brazos Valley.

One thing I have been doing since moving to Austin is trying to become a face for AIDS here. Every year since I got to this city I've worn a t-shirt of my own design for AIDS Walk. The first year was a design I already had. But then I decided to put my face on the shirts.



I'm already planning my new shirt for 2009.


I hope that by being more visible and more vocal I can raise awareness and reduce the stigma that has surrounded this disease from the beginning. As the stigma fades, the fear will no longer keep those of us living with it in hiding. And then we can work together to put a stop to this disease for good.