Such is the life of lies and deceit, of self-hatred, denial and despite. It weighs on the soul, and drags the life out of one, until nothing remains but harsh truth: a wasted life. One can clearly see the parallel between Reverend Haggard and a man once named Saul. You may know him better as Paul. Perhaps now you can understand the demons which wracked Paul's soul. The devils of self-hate and despair. The demons of one's own creation.
As -- if Biblical history is to be believed -- God made man in His own image, man has made the devil in ours. We are the demons which we despise and fear. Our loathing comes from hating ourselves: who and what we are. More and more, as the mirror shatters, our worlds and our lives fall with the shards of glass, reflecting aspects which we never wished to see.
Just as Dorian Grey's life collapsed, his body emaciated, upon seeing his true self in the painting, so has Haggard's. His hidden truths laid bare for all to see. The ghoulish horrors of a wasted life.
That is why I chose nearly two decades ago to live my life as me: a gay man with AIDS. While a bluff may work in poker, life is not a game of chance. Truth ultimately wins, and will find a way to reveal itself in the most inopportune ways -- and times.
As more lies are shattered, more truths exposed, I hope you will contemplate the importance of being earnest. That honesty with others is as important as honesty with ourselves. Because, truth be told, if you aren't, you will be as haggard as poor Ted. Or Mark Foley. Or Paul...
